I’ll admit it right now, I’m in a weird mood today. Not peppy, not energetic, not glum, not humdrum.  I wanted to write something, but nothing too deep.  I don’t feel like making my brain work too much.  And then I started having all these random questions pop into my head.  The ones that make you go hmmm?

Why do you need to go pee as soon as you move from the pool into the hot tub? or as soon as you HEAR water running or see waterfalls?  What scientific property is triggering our bladder to say  – yup Right NOW would be good!?

Why is it that our perfectly quiet, occupied with their tv show kid, suddenly needs our full attention the second we get on the phone?  And this skill seems to be developed at birth and merely perfected as they mature.

And speaking of being on the phone, please tell me I’m not the only one who will secretly go to the bathroom, during a phone call, making a loud noise or cough to muffle the flush sound, because I “HAD TO GO NOW” and didn’t want to be “rude” and end the call? I’m not alone on this right? Oh please smile and nod, and admit you do too.

Why does food always fall on my my large “bosum” (or shelving unit as my best friend dubbed it)?  Putting a napkin in my lap is useless, nothing gets that far down!  It lands LOOONG before reaching any napkin. And nobody else is wearing their napkin like a bib, so I kind of feel like a loser if I try.  And why does can’t chocolate land on a dark shirt? why does it have to land on the WHITE part?  KWIM? And if I have a jacket or sweater with me, I don’t spill at all – its when I have NOTHING to cover it and a place to go – that SPLOP. bullseye! We have a stain folks!

Why could my DH drive the car with his music cranked and enjoy the scenery, but I have to play 20 questions with my children?  I’ve TRIED putting the music on and that just gets the “MOMMMM” louder.  I asked me kids that very question once – they told me – “well Dad just ignores us”.  GRRRR.  Somehow my Mommy brain doesn’t do well with that. Not fair. And now that they are older, the music is a source of a fight – and trying the “but I’m the driver” trump card doesn’t go well.

Why is it when you have a day off, and time to sleep in, you wake up early?  I don’t get the urge to wake up early when the alarm is set. Why is my circadian clock messing with me?

I’m also secretly hoping that I’m not the only person, who has released a fart in an empty grocery aisle and then hightailed my granny panties and shopping cart about 2 rows away so not to get CAUGHT!  In church you are trapped and have to somehow hold that fart in, but c’mon, don’t you wish you could just let her rip?  Imagine the reaction!? LOL –    All those granny panty grey haired old biddies, absolutely HORRIFIED because after all they don’t have bodily functions.  WHATEVER.

Clearly my mind needs something else to focus on. I guess I should go get dressed. As comfy as lounging in my PJ’s is, murphy’s law says that NOW will be when somebody decides to show up at my door.  Ok,  I’m off in search of my wonderfully comfortable, well fitting granny panties, and you my friends can ponder on why there is braille on the drive up ATM window. (because all the blind drivers I know need one  – NOT!)

And that’s me. GP.