Do you believe in ghosts?  Do you believe in life in a parallel realm?  I do.  I am totally convinced that when our loved ones die, they continue to exist around us.

I always had a passing fascination with the notion, but its like God or Santa – where’s the evidence? How do you expect anyone to believe in something you can’t see or prove?

Several years ago a friend showed me “orbs” in photos. Many would argue its a dust spot on the lens, or a water droplet or dust particle caught by the light.  But I disagree.  Once I became aware of orbs, I looked more closely at them.  This same friend showed me that if you zoom in on them as much as possible, that many of them have a face or are a profile!  And its true!  Also – I have photos taken seconds after each other – some with the orb, some without.  Clearly NOT a dust particle or water moisture. Its a spirit.  I’m sure of that.

When DH died, an aquaintance’s daughter, who is blind and had never even met DH, had a visit from him.  She knew nothing about us and yet she had a couple of messages from him. When she asked him for proof to tell me it was him, he repeated the same word. It baffled her until she told me – it was out pet name for each other.   It was real and I was convinced.

During therapy sessions, for months and months on end, despite the forecast, day of week, or time of day, EVERY session, the sun came out and shone through the window into my eyes.  It was HIM.  It had to be.  There was no other explanation.  And as if to confirm this theory – on the anniversary of his death EACH year – by mid afternoon, the rain will stop, the clouds will part and the sun will shine in a blue sky WHILE we are at the cemetery.  Once we leave – it returns to rain. SERIOUSLY.  Its bizarre, but really cool. Its like he is saying “I’m here for you”

His favourite bird was an eagle.  One really tough day about 6 months after he died, I was sitting outside on the curb, trying to cool my temper.  I was so stressed and upset.  I prayed to him to guide me and give me strength.  An eagle appeared!  And just circled and circled over me.  At that moment it was him. It had to be.

I went to a tea leaf reading a year ago.  The reader was hearing him, and passing on messages  Again, she had information that she had no way of truly knowing.  It was real.

Now I’m obsessed with the show Long island Medium.   I’m so jealous that she gets to hear/see spirits from the other side.  I so want DH to pass me a message.  But then I think, no,  I don’t want a message PASSED to me – I want it MYSELF.  I don’t want someone else to see/hear him.  I want it directly.  He was MY husband. My life time partner.  I MISS him and I want that reassurance directly that he’s here, beside me, supporting me.

I’m always looking into the shadows for signs.  Anytime there is anything wonky with electronics – I wonder – did HE make it happen?  Is he in the room? Does he see me? Can he hear me? Is he happy or mad at me? Is he with my children? Does he go to school with them? or stay with me? is he able to be in numerous places? How does he feel? What does he look like? Is he happy?  Did he suffer when he died?

I have so many questions.  I’ll have to seek out a medium one day.  I want him to talk to me.  I just wish I could hear him again.  I’m forgetting the sound of his voice and laugh.  And that makes me sad.

And that’s me.