As a child I remember hearing a radio segment called “beefs and bouquets.”  I didn’t really understand what it was about. My mother explained it was a chance for people to leave a complaint or a compliment for someone to hear.  I still didn’t really understand how that had anything to do with steak and flowers but accepted the answer.

I realize now that in that time, pre social media, people still had a need to publicly share thoughts, both good and bad, so the radio was the medium used.  Now with Facebook, our need to publicly advertise or share has moved past compliments and complaints to bitching and bragging!  Not a healthy shift!

Status updates have become the way to share to the world how wonderful your child/partner/pet/life is. We post these highlights as if they are daily occurrences, leaving a delusion to society that our life is filled with unicorns and rainbows.

On the flip side, it has become a place to rant.  To bash, complain, abuse, and mock the things we dislike.  The safety blanket of social media has allowed too many to speak freely without concern for the ramifications of the hurtfulness of their words.  Injuring and scarring many as they go.

So a Facebook follower is left with this artificial world of extremes.  No longer is it a compliment or complaint on a radio show. It’s the augmented and asinine.  Bold and brave versus the badgered and bullied.

I’m guilty too.  In a desperate attempt to feel less like a total failure, I post the wonderful moments.  I savour the likes.  I relish the comments. The more I get, the better I feel.  I let others think I have a ton of friends or that things are going well.  It’s a lot easier to do that then post the dreary daily crap that is really happening. Or admit I can easily go a day or two with no human contact other than my two kids.

Unfortunately people start to believe that our Facebook lives are real.  That the highlights we share are the norm.  We start thinking less of ourselves as we notice all the wonderful shit others have happening.  Believing instead that we’re the only ones living with baggage and turmoil.   Noticing all the comments and likes others have and think they have a life full of great friends.

How many of those Facebook friends do you actually see regularly? Text daily? Or are they simply a cyber friend who occasionally is part of your real day to day contact?

How many of your posts are bragging?  How many are bitching? Is there a purpose? How often do you reveal the honest reality of your day? The days when you feel like a failure? Is your Facebook revealing a realistic picture? Or a touched up version where the imperfections are hidden?

I’ve often practiced the “if you don’t have anything nice to say…” policy, but that tends to leave me posting just the rosy highlights, perpetuating the very fake ideal I’m complaining about.

So I admit here, my life is full of dreary moments, arguments and some successes. I have tons of online friends who if I actually see or talk to once a year in person it’s a miracle.  I wear granny panties and I don’t care.   That’s  me!