A photo inspiration montage.

As I spend way too many precious hours perusing Pinterest, I find little gems.  I have a whole board of pins of quotes.  Some are just goofy.  Many parallel my sarcastic outlook on life, and others are pure inspiration and reminders of what life can be.

I know I have a very pessimistic view on things.  That I dwell on the negatives. That I put  myself down pretty much every waking moment.  But when I pause and read these inspirational qutoes, I’m able to stop the recorded loop of crap in my brain.  Even if its just for a second – and I can think YES, that’s right.  Or that’s what I’ll become. Or even have HOPE for a while that my future will be something much brighter than it currently seems.

Pinned Image

The first is simply about my writing.  I love how creating this blog has freed my mind of some of the thinking traps and allowed me to publicly question  my thoughts.

The next few I was instantly drawn to because of the ocean or water aspect.  They bring me right back to my opening blog about the storm of my life.  And how things are changing.  <3

Don't confuse your path with your destination. Just because it's stormy now doesn't mean that you aren't headed for sunshine.God knows

I get so frustrated trying to tell people what I’m experiencing, or dealing with and knowing they just have NO CLUE. https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/545278_4232053159360_876098963_n.jpgAnd really think that their pat answer or pithy response will help. It often just leaves me feeling worse or MORE isolated.  So I need to really keep these messages in my heart.

 

The next few I cherish because they remind me to look for the good, and that each day is what I make of it.  Their messages help me re-frame the “all or nothing” thinking into something more realistic and less foreboding. That perhaps I need to give myself more credit and respect myself more.  And I think that the mere fact that these are even printed suggests that others need this reminder too –  which is another important reminder to myself, as I often think that I’m the ONLY one ever thinking this shit about myself or my life.

True...

Let this be a source of encouragement for you today. :) (Click on the image to see more!)

There are so many more that I have.  But this seems like a lot of wisdom in a small space.  I intend to go back and read this each day, so that I can start with a smile.  roflol

And just because I really can’t end a post without some crazy reference to my underwear of choice…here is yet another reason I choose to wear Granny Panties. I do hope you don’t find yourself in the same predicament when presented with a thong! Remember the term FLIP FLOP!  (and NO that isn’t a reference to my boobs!!)

And that’s me! GP

One day, one step, keep going

When the world comes tumbling down and leaves your life all broken,

it’s hard to pick yourself back up and seek out just a token

of what was once your day to day pattern of existence.

Instead you now must forge ahead with courage and persistence

through endless tears, and fights with those you love with all your heart,

to heal the pain and lick your wounds and make a brand new start.

The voice of doubt and inner fear that what you do is wrong

is hard to shake and rips you up and makes the road too long.

So crumpled in heap upon the ground, too tired to move,

your hopes of ever finding joy again just seem to prove

elusive in the constant battle of pain and endless torrent.

Instead you seek a therapist, who sits and lets you vent.

“One day; one step; keep going,” is a mantra you repeat

impossible to honour when each day you feel defeat.

Words of advice that are no help just make you question why.

“What is the point?” “Who’ll understand?” “Why should I even try?”

But push on through, buck up stand tall, keep faith, believe and toy

with the hope that there will come a day when in your heart is joy.

 

 

 

My life as an Ocean Storm

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Ok, so I have this space so I can write, vent, and generally be too verbose about all the twirling thoughts in my head.  So now I can’t decide what to write about first.

I like the picture I picked because to me it represents my life. I have something beautiful (ocean, landscape) but my thoughts or the actions of my life (the storm clouds) are lurking just above threatening to make it miserable. Or worse, the storms HAVE hit and unleashed fury on our landscape and made a mess. But once the storm passes, there will be beauty again.

I feel like I’m living in a constant storm.  I am waiting for that calm.  and waiting and waiting and waiting…  OK already, enough of the storms. I want the beautiful sunset part now.

Time will tell what the storm washed ashore.  What treasures and what demise.  But right now I’m still slogging through the puddles of mud and water and my boots are leaking.  I need to find a rock to climb on, but I just keep tripping on the stones. Occasionally I’ve found a beautiful shell, but its either broken or gotten lost.  I know they are there though.  I see glimmers of them, peeking out at me. Offering me hope.  Today the rains have stopped and the clouds are parting, and it seems like calm seas may lie ahead, but I fear another storm is brewing just beyond the horizon ready to rear its ugly head, when I’m least ready.

and that’s me today. Granny Panties!

 

You found me!

Well if you are here, that means either:

a) I’ve trusted you into this private space, or

b) you’ve inadvertently stumbled into my crazy vortex.  Either way – Welcome.

This is my place to reveal the real me.  so here it is – I am a mom. I have 2 kids. I am a widow.

When I’m mad, I swear, even in front of my kids. Oh well. (lock me up now!). I think a clean house is when both the laundry AND dishes are done at the same time as the LR is vacuumed. And oh yeah, I wear Granny Panties. This is me.