Ok Pet peeve vent here. Decades ago, it was believed “it takes a community to raise a child”. People borrowed a cup of sugar from a neighbour. Maybe it was idealized. Maybe it wasn’t real? But now, it seems judgement is passed far more readily than help or encouragement.
Just today I saw a FB post from a friend, trying to solicit others to criticize another person’s (also a friend of mine) parenting. And lots of others jumped on that bandwagon with both feet without knowing the facts. They cast judgment. Most didn’t ask for more facts. It drives me crazy. Firstly, what business is it of anyone of them? Nobody asked for this advice, comments or opinions.
Why have we become so willing to cast stones against others? Who made us so much better than our neighbours? Do you know what they battle each day? When did our “story” become irrelevant?
I’m so sick of it. I had to stop putting a lot of things on FB as it became too hurtful. I used to trust most people. I used to trust that my friends and acquaintances were all essentially good. I believed in being open and honest. No facades. (well other than hiding that I personally felt that everyone else was better than me, and I was a failure – but that’s a post for another day). Now I’m jaded, and distrustful. I’m wary of others’ judgements on me and my life.
Now it seems the only time many want to HELP – is to criticize. Seeking out the truthful people, the ones who DO care, is challenging. I have many great friends. I have many I trust and who do care. But its so hard to discern who the “others” are. Who are the ones who are secretly casting judgements and throwing stones behind my back?
Why is it so hard to communicate honestly? If you are concerned for someone, or their kids then TALK to them. BE OPEN. BE HONEST. don’t hide behind FB or ministry Social workers. Man up. Don’t gossip. If we truly want the best for others, then isn’t it up to us to provide it personally? Honesty IS the best policy. I still believe that.
I WANT a community to help me raise my family. I WANT to be part of a community that helps raise my friends’ kids.
When I see a friend’s child doing something inappropriate, I’ll tell that child to stop. (heck I’ll tell a total stranger) I’ll tell the parent I did so. But know what? I’m not judging that parent. I LOVE my friends’ kids. I TRUST their parenting. I know that there is a story for their actions and why they parent as they do, and why the kids may act as they do. Does that mean I agree with everything all my friends/kids do? Of course not! Nor do I expect my friends to agree with all my choices. But if there was something BIG, that I was concerned about, I’d say so. and I would want them to say so to ME. Don’t hide. Honesty!
Be True, Be real. Hang your Granny Panties on the line for others to see! And if you can’t be honest and true, then MYOB.
and that’s me. Granny Panties and all! 🙂