Allergies and Peanut Butter

As a kid I knew of ONE child who had allergies.  She was allergic to dust and pet hair. Her room was a sterile environment.  She wasn’t allowed any books or toys that could collect dust. No stuffies, no rugs, etc.  She wasn’t allowed to my house because we had pets. And at Guide camps she sure suffered when everyone brought out their dusty foam mattresses, old sleeping bags as we slept in ancient canvas tents.  She was a sniffling sneezing mess.  I felt so sorry for her.

I wasn’t aware that the reason we always had ham and turkey at Christmas was because my aunt was allergic to turkey.  As I grew older I discovered my Grandma was allergic to Shellfish.  But it wasn’t a big deal. I’d never heard of an epipen or life-threatening reactions.

Allergies just weren’t talked about.   At 7 when I got my ears pierced, we diligently used the ear care cleaner in the pink bottle.  By day 2, I was covered in bright red, itchy welts. 

 

I took a bath in baking soda.  My mum said I was likely allergic to something in the ear care stuff and we stopped using it.  In my early teens I got mega itchy and a dot like rash every time I swam in a pool. Again Mum said – probably allergic to chlorine.  Anytime I was around cigarette smoke, I’d get congested, have a hard time breathing etc. I guessed maybe an allergy?  At 17 I reacted to a penicillin medication with the same red itchy welts I’d had 10 years earlier. And the Dr said – likely an allergic reaction. I had some allergy testing done in my early 20’s.  They didn’t test most of the above items – instead it was revealed that I’m allergic to clover (ahh, now it makes sense why when people mow their lawns I get sneezy and stuffy) and tomato (now that rash on my hands I got each time I did tomato prep at the sandwich deli made sense).  

I basically thought allergies meant that you would end up itchy and sneezing.  Nothing life threatening. Just inconvenient. (It never occurred to me that my stomach issues might be related to EATING tomato)

 

During my university years, a classmate was suddenly hospitalized.  She was making peanut butter cookies and suddenly couldn’t breathe.  She’d made them zillions of times in the past.  Turns out she was now allergic to peanut butter.  Now she had to carry an epipen.   My husband and one of his brothers both developed an allergy to dust and pet fur in their late 30’s. They both could just suffer thru it. But how can someone just suddenly become allergic?  And to the point of being life threatening?  It doesn’t make sense?

But now as a teacher and parent, I encounter life threatening allergies with kids all the time.  There isn’t a pre-school, elementary class, cub group etc, that doesn’t have someone majorly allergic to something.  Epipens are common.

I know kids with major allergies to nuts, peanuts, wasps, eggs, dairy, even mustard. This is in addition to all the wasp, dust, feather, pet, etc allergies.

HOW did our society end up so allergic?  Is our environment so toxic our bodies are rebelling?  or is it our endless use of disinfectants etc causing a reverse response, to the point of rejecting our basic surroundings? Is our food so processed that we can’t handle it anymore?

Lets face it, eggs and dairy and nuts and feathers and pets have been around for centuries.  And yet there isn’t story after story of someone’s great grandpa just dropping dead at the dinner table because he couldn’t breathe after eating something.  Or not able to work in the field or barn because they were sneezing too much.  So WHAT HAPPENED?  Its radically changed in my 40 years.

EpiPen

My own daughter now has an epipen.  She was stung by a wasp in June.  She has been stung 2 other times and never reacted at all.  But this time, her face swelled up. You couldn’t see her bottom lip because the top one protruded so much. One eye was nearly swollen closed.  “likely an allergy, better carry an epipen in case the next time is worse”.   Are we over-reacting?  Part of me thinks yes, and yet the part of me that doesn’t want my daughter to suffer – says NO, so we have the epipen.

However, do I think its right to ban peanut products in schools etc? NO I don’t!!  Do I want another child to die? Of course not.  But does that child have the right to dictate what my kid can have for lunch? I don’t think so.  My son has an allergy to dust (as do many).  But did the school rip out their ancient chalk boards? NO.  He and all the asthma suffers (and THAT never was around when I was a kid either), all have to suffer.  Can you ban all the wasps from flying around the playground? NO.  If my kid had a wheat allergy would you ban sandwiches? NO.  If my kid had a dairy allergy would everyone be told – don’t bring milk for lunch? NO.  But for some reason Peanut butter is special!  And I think its a bunch of BULL!

Banning peanut butter isn’t making the school safe.  If my kid eats PB for breakfast and doesn’t wash her hands, or brush her teeth, there is still a trace amount of it on her fingers or breath.  So IF your child is sensitive to the smell or to trace amounts, banning it from the school, hasn’t protected her has it? My child might use the monkey bars.  Or worse my child might sit and read a library book AT HOME, while enjoying her PB&J, AT HOME. That book may now be contaminated!  And since your kid may borrow that book – I guess he could die?  So I guess we better ban library books from going home too? c’mon… Where does it end?

For years, my very sensitive picky eater ate virtually NO protein products AT ALL.  Trying to feed her has been beyond frustrating and challenging.  Peanut butter has been ONE staple.  Often it was the ONLY protein she would consume.  (and I mean the ONLY one!).

So if I complied with the “no peanut butter” rule, my child’s health and nutrition would be severely impaired. My son at one point was on a mega high fibre diet.  He couldn’t just substitute ham in his sandwich for the peanut butter. (as I was told by the school) Ham had no fibre, his PB had 2 grams.  His jam had 1.  There was 3 extra grams of fibre I was getting into him. His granola bar had 5 grams. (but it had nuts and I was being told NO to that too)  It was for his health. He had a medical condition.  But the allergy kid’s rights were trumping my kids’ rights.  I don’t think so! I was told, just feed him the fibre stuff at home. WHAT?!  Really?

You want me to get 35 grams of fibre into my child via 2 meals?  uhhh NOOOO.  It needed to be given evenly throughout his day.  I stood my ground. I was the enemy.  I was inconsiderate.  I apparently wanted kids to die.  NO I didn’t.  But I wasn’t going to let someone’s allergy bully me.

I have NO issue if you want MY kid to eat their life threatening PB sandwich in a separate area.  I have told my kids – WASH your hands VERY carefully.  Don’t touch anything with dirty fingers or let your food touch anything. Ask if anyone around has an allergy.  BE CONSIDERATE.  I’m trying to raise Allergy aware kids. Not assassins.

I get that the mother of a peanut allergy kid is freaked out every time she lets her kid venture out into his day, concerned he might react or die.  But that child too, has to learn that this world is a risky environment and to be cautious.  Carry and USE the epipen if needed.

The mom of a girl who is very allergic to mustard (which is in some cheese – did you know that?) AGREES with me.  She didn’t insist on hot dog days being banned because some kids want mustard on them.  NO. She didn’t think that was reasonable.  Instead her daughter is just MEGA careful.  To me this makes sense.

So I will continue to send my kids with their PB sandwiches or granola bars with NUTS.  We will not substitute the highly sugary Nutella spread instead of Peanut butter.  We tried almond butter – my kids didn’t like it – but using Nutella or almond butter doesn’t help the kid with the tree nut allergy anyways.  This month my daughter is a lunch monitor in a class with a kindergarten child allergic to peanut butter. I’m in dilemma.  My child is CHOOSING to lunch monitor.  She didn’t choose that class.  That 5 yr old is NEW to school and probably not as aware of safety.  So I’m thinking for the ONE month she is in this class, I won’t send peanut butter.  Or maybe I will and tell her to eat it at recess?  I dunno. I haven’t decided what’s best.

I’m not out to kill anyone.  I’m a good person.  I’m a considerate person.  I don’t want ANY child to suffer.  Including MINE!

And that’s me! GP.

 

Special Needs Integration

Oh boy.  I’m bound to piss off someone and everybody all in one blog.  Well here goes nothing…

In our area, all special needs kids, no matter how extreme, are integrated into regular elementary classrooms.  And typically the gov’t will fund a full time Educational Assistant (EA) to chase and babysit them.  However if you have a child with a minor learning disability or even a moderate behaviour challenge, there is no funding for any behaviour/educational support at all.

I’m a teacher and a parent and I don’t like it from either angle. Don’t get me wrong – I think integration works for some kids, but it isn’t for everyone. Our current system SUCKS.

Honestly, how is the non-verbal, screaming autistic child running through the hallways, disturbing every class, benefiting?  Why does she deserve a full time EA to chase her around?  Are all the other kids learning tolerance of her disabilities?  Or are they developing frustrations and headaches and hoping that they don’t have to be in the same class with THAT child again?  I’ll tell you – its the second one!

When that same Autistic child is forced to be part of the school musical and is crying and wailing and being held in place by her EA, its not enjoyable for the audience.  She is ruining the show for everyone.  And I really don’t think that child is benefiting either. So WHY are we doing this?

Its apparently acceptable to throw things and disrupt everyone and have special exemptions if you are a child with severe “issues”, but heaven forbid my child get any special accommodations for her needs.

Mine has Oppositional Defiance Disorder and is a highly sensitive person.  She is triggered by many sounds (such as kids screaming in the halls! or even chalk on a blackboard).  She is instantly calmed by listening to music.  However, when the request to allow her to bring an iPod and use it to calm down was made – it was refused.  iPods aren’t allowed and if an exception was made for her it would have to be made for everyone.  REALLY?  Then why does the autistic girl have her own to use whenever she wants!?  Honestly are her needs MORE important than my child’s? The apparent answer seems to be YES. We cater to the extreme. If you are more normal – SUCK IT UP.

My child is bright. When calm, she will learn a lot and contribute both in school and to the community.  What is that other girl going to do?  She is a lovely girl but she will always need support. She isn’t going to hold down a job.  Yet the school is giving more time and money to her education.  I think it’s absolute CRAP.

My son has dyslexia.  He is also gifted.  But because of his learning disability he hasn’t been able to excel.  He struggles to get any written work done. While he was in elementary school, I had to fight for 5 years just to get him tested!   He got some help one year when he sat next to the ASD child.  THAT boy had a full time EA to help him. So that EA helped my son. It was such a benefit.  He loved the help; he would have had way more success and way more confidence in his abilities if he’d had more help in other years. But NO! –the funding is for the ones who aren’t going to amount to much.  My son’s current teacher has dubbed him “the future prime minister”  She see’s that much potential in him.  But its not come from any EA support. Its come from hours upon hours of support from ME!!!  And persevering through many tantrums, thrown books and lots of “I’m so stupid” crying jags, as he struggled, not understanding why he “couldn’t get it”.  ARGHHH!!

Society needs to put that little extra out NOW, for some of the borderline kids.  Give them that boost and help while they are young and let them fly.  But instead we spend all the time carrying the kids who will need to be carried forever. They aren’t ever going to fly; leaving those who could have learned to fly still struggling because the helpers were too busy carrying our “special” kids.

Don’t get me wrong – I’ve seen many successful integrated kids too. I think all kids deserve a classroom where their needs are met. If they are able to sit and partake in a regular class with minimal disruption – its a good situation for all.  However a special program where basic life skills are taught would be better for some. I had a child one year whose EA spent the entire year, toilet training him. Seriously!!  Yet my kid couldn’t get any reading support?!  I had to teach a child choir who could only HONK out sounds to talk, much less sing. And all the other kids who wanted to sing had to tolerate it.  And this is OK?

NO. IT’S. NOT!  Not for me as a teacher; not for me as a parent; not for my students and not for my children. It’s not OK.  Integration isn’t for ALL. IT NEEDS TO CHANGE.

And I’ll stop now before I get my granny panties all in a knot!

That’s me. GP.

School Supplies

As a child I looked forward to the day we would go to the store to buy all the new school supplies.  I’d eagerly await the chance to pick out my fresh new crayons in the 64 pack if I was lucky!  And once home, it was great fun to touch and sort everything, as my Mum had to write my name on all 64 crayons.

And ironically, my daughter also loves it too.  She has asked for days “when can we go buy school supplies”.  Last week when Walmart cleared the summer display out, we knew the supplies were on their way and we could be shopping soon.

I’ve learned too, that the early bird gets the best duotangs and felts!  Don’t wait til the end of August!  You’ll end up with one colour duotang, or worse have to go to 3 stores to find any at all!  So today was the day, to get the 50 pack of thin felts (after all its better to have more colours!) and the 16 pack of thick felts.  My kids no longer need crayons.  That’s ok.  Now we are onto zipper binders and geometry kits.  I still remember my first geometry kit – I felt so grown up.

I even treated myself to 2 packs of sharpies! A standard pack with 2 black, and a red, blue and green.  But also a special pack that had pink, purple and other neat colours.  Felt pens for grown ups!  🙂  Exciting times. My son was questioning “why are you getting that?”  “Because I want to!”  Serioulsy?!  He doesn’t get it.  He was bemoaning being in the store “can’t we just buy this stuff and get out of here?”  So much like his dad.  Hehe. But it was all there, the glue, pens, paper, etc. And I wanted to look at it all.  I restrained somewhat, but I really wanted to.

So many schools including my daughter’s offer a school supply package.  You pre-order and its given to you on your first day of school.  I did it one year for my son.  And I realized how disappointed I was.  I missed out on my once a year shopping trip!  I didn’t get to pick the big packages of felts etc.  All the kids had exactly the same stuff.  Where is the fun in that? Nope we never pre-order anymore.  I LIKE the shopping and I like getting my kids the larger packs of felts etc so they have all the cool colours.

And now that we are home, my daughter is opening the packages, putting paper in her binders, felts into pencil cases etc.  I totally get it!  Its so much fun!  I’ll have to label it all (not so much fun). But I remember that thrill and its fun to see my daughter getting that same thrill. At this very second, she is opening her first geometry set and checking out the protractor and compass.

I like shopping generally. So does she. But there is something inherently special about that annual foray to get school supplies. We won’t get that trip for another year now.

We did pick up a bunch of other “stuff” like shampoo, bandaids, t-shirts, and granny panties.  But that doesn’t give me the same rush of enjoyment. It’s all about the school supplies!

So that’s me (with my NEW granny panties and sharpie felts!)